by dailyd | Oct 20, 2018 | Relationship
It all started last year. Steve and I have been dating for three months… One of our agreements, when we started seeing each other, is to postpone sex till when we are married. Usually we avoid being alone in his room anytime I visited, and vice-versa. We always ensure we sit in open places and have our siblings around the house when we are together at home. My Mom has always encouraged me to make sure I preserve my virginity as my best gift for my future husband. I’ve made up my mind that I will remain a virgin till I get married. So, we both set rules and tried as much as possible to keep them.Pregnant Single
Some weeks ago, I visited Steve in his house, unknown to me that Steve’s siblings had all gone to their uncle’s house for the weekend and his parents were also not at home. “Nice to see you, Clara,” Steve opened the door for me with a radiating smile and affection! “where is everybody?” I asked! Hoping to see Steve’s siblings. “oh, I’m the only one at home today, and what do I offer you to drink?” Steve replied. Any drink will be ok! I replied. We both sat down to watch some movies in the living room; we discussed different topics ranging from politics, celebrities, to our recent youth programs in the church. Along the line, I noticed the unusual gaze from Steve, but I ignored it, thinking nothing unexpected will happen, more so we are not in the bedroom! I was wrong!!! One thing led to another, to cut a long story short, we lost our guards! We had Sex! I lost my virginity! I lost my pride! I buried my head in shame and left without saying goodbye to him.
Just yesterday, I got the most shocking news of my life! I’m PREGNANT!!! How do I face my Mom and Dad? How do I tell my Youth Pastor? What about my friends? Oh no!!! What do I do now? Abort? Oh, that will be adding sin to sin, and it will be worse! No, Abortion is not an Option! I will lose my friends, I will lose my dignity, and will be a loner in the church youth group!!! Oh, I’m done for!
Are you like CLARA??? SINGLE & PREGNANT?
There is a stigma attached to being pregnant as an unmarried lady, of course, it’s not proper to be pregnant outside marriage, but what most people don’t realise that the real deal is not the pregnancy, something led to the pregnancy; which is “sex.” So, the real problem is not the pregnancy, but fornication! Most churches will carry out pregnancy test for couples that are about to wed, to be sure the lady is not pregnant before the wedding date, but fail to “test” for sex before the wedding day (by asking them if they’ve had sex)! So, in the bid for some girls to do what is called a “white wedding”, they will choose to do an abortion!!! Adding sin to sin and ended up being worse; killing an innocent child!!!
ARE YOU SINGLE AND HAVING SEX BUT NOT PREGNANT? You are not better off than the one that is pregnant, in fact, it shows that the one that is pregnant is naïve and not as corny as the one that is having sex but not pregnant. So, if you are single and having sex, I will advise you to stop!!! God is against fornication and all forms of sexual immoralities, that is why the bible says, “Flee fornication”!
IF YOU ARE SINGLE AND PRESENTLY PREGNANT, I will repeat what Jesus said to the woman that was caught in adultery, “SIN NO MORE” … Don’t go back into fornication and don’t seek an abortion! You should acknowledge the fact that the baby you are carrying has nothing to do with the sin that was committed, so never allow the baby to suffer the consequences of your action! That baby is loaded with destiny! So, don’t do anything stupid to yourself or the baby! It has happened, take full responsibility for it. I understand that some singles are pregnant as a result of being raped, in that case, it might not be their fault, so people should not label every pregnant single as a bad person! but for now, don’t allow the incident to change your life negatively! Rather be strong and move forward. God knows how to reward everyone for what we do.
So, my dear pregnant single lady, what’s next?
NEXT STEPS…
The first thing you must ensure is restoring a perfect relationship with God, by acknowledging your sins, ask for God’s forgiveness, and accept Jesus as your Lord and saviour (if you haven’t done so before)
Don’t continue to live in regret, forgive yourself and forgive the person that is responsible for your pregnancy.
Don’t abandon the fellowship of believers. Initially, you may feel ashamed, thinking of how people will think of you, but you don’t have to allow that cut you off from attending church! And if you are placed under any discipline by your church (mostly those that are workers or ministers in their church) don’t allow that separate you from the love of God. The bible says: whosoever the father loves, He chastises.
Let the period of pregnancy be a period of re-dedication and re-strategizing your life’s goals and ambitions. Although there will be interruptions in your life’s pursuit, don’t allow that put a permanent stop to your life, it may slow you down, but it should not stop you, as soon as your baby is born and wined, bounce back, bigger and better!
Don’t allow the episode to repeat itself in your life again, pray for strength, set necessary rules, ask for the power of the Holy Spirit and ensure you always walk in the Spirit. The bible says; “walk in the Spirit, and you will not fulfil the desires of the flesh.”
In case you are not willing to get married to the person that impregnated you for any reason. Don’t worry about whether you are ever going be settled in a good home. Know that the fact you have a baby does not mean you can’t get a “good” husband to marry. When you allow God to direct your life henceforth, He will get you the right man that will accept you and be willing to accept your baby too! (Note: as a believer, don’t marry an unbeliever under any circumstances! The bible says “what agreement is there between light and darkness”)
If you are in courtship with the guy that impregnated you, then you both must fully repent and take full responsibilities for your actions. Don’t rejoice in iniquity, rather be sober and be repentant. Then put your life together and move on! Missing a white wedding shouldn’t be your greatest worry, but rather how to amend your relationship with God. Have due consultations with your pastor and/or marriage committee to determine the next steps in your marital relationship!
DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS SINGLE AND PREGNANT?
Don’t cast her out! Show her love and be willing to help her regain her lost self! Remember what Jesus said, “he that is without sin should cast the first stone” … your encouragement for the person does not mean you are promoting or encouraging other girls to be pregnant before marriage! Just like this write-up is not to encourage singles to be pregnant before marriage or engage in pre-marital sex, you are only trying to rescue a soul from perishing! Remember that countless single girls are having sex and are not pregnant because they are so “good” at using contraceptives! So, the one that is pregnant is not worse than them.
Encourage the person to be closer to God, and to be present in church programs. Talk to her about prenatal and antenatal care. HELP HER REGAIN HER SELF AS A REAL WOMAN! SHOW HER TRUE CHRISTIAN LOVE! THE LOVE OF GOD!
ARE YOU SINGLE AND STILL A VIRGIN?… Don’t lose your virginity until you are married, continue to preserve yourself, don’t give in to the pressure of sexual pleasures and pressure. And don’t engage in other forms of sexual immoralities (kissing, petting, humping, masturbation, cloths-on-romance, pornography etc.)! They are all uncleanliness
ARE YOU SINGE BUT HAVE LOST YOUR VIRGINITY?… Don’t continue in Sin, STOP SINNING! Keep yourself pure, repent of your sins and start a new life with Christ! The bible says “If anyone is in Christ, He (or she) is a new creature, old things are passed away, behold all things have become new” … So, continue to walk in newness as a “virgin” of Grace!
So, my dear single-but-pregnant, don’t lose hope and don’t abort your baby
REMEMBER GOD LOVES US, WHILE WE WERE YET SINNERS, JESUS DIED FOR US!
If you don’t have a relationship with Him, you can start one today and right now.
Simply bow your head and pray this simple prayer from your heart!
“Lord Jesus, I have seen my self as a sinner. I have sinned against you. I confess all my sins of immoralities, fornication, lies etc. (mention them). Have Mercy upon me Oh God! I Accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. Thank you for dying for my sins, Today I forsake all my sins, and I surrender my life to you, Jesus. Come into my heart Holy Spirit of God and give me the power to sin no more. Thank you for saving me. In Jesus name, I pray.”
(the prayer above is just a sample…. Pray, following that pattern from your heart and not just merely repeating what is written, let your prayers and confession be genuine)
If you just gave your life to Jesus or just rededicated your life to Him
God bless you!
Written by:
Paul Ojomu
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Sex and Feelings
by dailyd | Oct 19, 2018 | Relationship
Single Ladies hear this: Apostle Paul said something that got me thinking:He said in 1 Cor. 7: 34 ” There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband”.
Is that really true in the church today? Are single ladies actually more dedicated to God than married women?
Check the mid-week services and special programs in the church to verify this claim, how many single ladies are part of the church workers compared to married women?
Are single ladies really after being Holy in the body and in the spirit?
Hear this young lady! If a married woman is more dedicated to the Lord than you are, then there is a big problem!
My dear, maximize your singleness, dedicate your body, time, affection, resources, singlenesstalent and energy to God now!
Remember now thy creator in the days of your youth says the Holy Scriptures.
A word is enough for the wise! Same for you single brothers!
God bless you!
Written by:
Paul Ojomu
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4 things you MUST know before getting married
by dailyd | Oct 18, 2018 | Relationship
Before you can begin your journey into marital life, you must have acquired some important skills to prepare you and help you weather the storms that comes with your new status.
Before you can be called a graduate in any field of study, you must have gone through school and passed the course in flying colours.
So also, before you can begin your journey into marital life, you must have acquired some important skills to prepare you and help you weather the storms that comes with your new status.
Here are four important pieces of marriage advice that you need to know before you say “I do”:
Emotional self-regulation: Little children often throw tantrums, cry, or even hit their siblings. Adults, on the other hand, mostly live their lives in the calm zone. The good news is that adults who get overly emotional, especially with anger, can learn how to overcome their anger tendencies. If you find that you raise your voice and get angry more than once every several months (or get so angry that you say and do hurtful things), you’ve got some important learning to do.
Communication: Some of the qualities that are essential to any marriage is talking tactfully, especially when the issue is something that distresses you and listening in a way that sustains cooperation. Talking in a way that’s complaining, critical, or otherwise hurtful will get you in serious marriage trouble. Dismissing what your partner says, negating what you hear with “but”, or ignoring instead of digesting what you hear, is sure to cause extreme marital problems.
Conflict resolution: All couples have differences no matter how in love they are. Successful couples know how to start with a “his-way” and a “her-way” and end up with an “our-way” that they both feel good about. That’s true whether the issue is a simple one, like what movie to to see on Saturday night, or big issues like where to live, how to handle money, and how to keep your sex life passionate.
Positivity: Each time you share a smile, laugh at your partner’s jokes, agree with a comment your partner said, express appreciation, thank your partner for something, or express affection, you are offering “drops” of positivity. The more drops you give, the happier you both will be.
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Sex and Feelings
by dailyd | Oct 17, 2018 | Relationship
A man can have sex with a lady and still don’t have any feelings for her, men only need space to have sex but women need reason to have sex.
A woman cannot have sex without feelings, A man can travel for eight hours ‘just to have sex with a female friend and yet, not love her.
Sex makes men act as if they are in love while they are not!
The eight hours travel sacrifice, gifts bought, hotel paid for and other expenses may seem to be coming from true love but they were all in the sacrifice for sex and nothing more.
The foolish thing is this, the majority of women would jump up inside them and conclude that this is the art of true love.
Sex is not an act of commitment. Men still leave the women they sleep with on bed and start thinking of the next woman to sleep with. The satisfaction that comes from sex dies in minutes.
It is in the nature of Lions to go miles to hunt. The same with men. A man who can afford the expenses of flying from the UK to Nigeria for sex would do it as if he would never turn to another woman for sex.
Sex drives men to do what seems like the impossible and such turns women around and they start acting weird. Sex and love are not on the same page even in the dictionary.sex and feelings
People can abandon their gold mines and dig the grave for sex. Most young men do terrible things just to have the resources to keep many girls in their life.
You may think they are working hard to live well in the future, but they are just living for fun and that is all. Students are now living together like husbands and wives, and our society calls it love. What kind of people do these students become when they leave school?
This is why we have a lot of frustrated graduates than nation-building graduates.
Today, a 16-year-old girl is already into sex. She wants to wear everything on trend. She is already a prostitute in the sense that any man that comes her way for relationship must show some signs of money and she would respond to him.
The funny thing is this, almost all those girls that have become sex symbols end up in a deep mess. How many of them today is changing the world they are into? What kind of spirit would they do well within life? They have sold their souls out to sex. They pride on what they wear and hotels they go to. That is their biggest achievement. The girls they called cowards are setting up economic empires. Their future is already exhausted when they come to their true senses?
Advice to my beloved brothers and sisters:
For men; never allow your erection today to destroy your future directions, stay positive.
My sisters, all that glitters is not gold, make your future bright and its start today.
I am not posting this to make anyone guilty or stand as a judge.
We have turned Christmas, Valentine and even Easter to Sexual seasons instead of The season of Grace and Mercy.
Greetings to you
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by dailyd | Oct 8, 2018 | Relationship
Why Do We Divide House Chores Based on Gender? … (A WORD FOR PARENTS and TO-BE PARENTS)
I have realized from observations that many parents divide house chores to their kids based on their gender rather than age!
The girl is saddled with the responsibility of keeping the kitchen clean, cooking, mopping the floor, cleaning the toilets and doing some tasks we assume should be done by girls only.
The boy’s responsibility will be to do the gardening, clear the snow, go to the farm, tidy up the garage, use the vacuum cleaner to clean the house, clear the weeds around the house, and do what we believe are the “hard” kinds of stuff.
In a home where you have more than one kid and you have both sexes, I Believe the kids should be exposed to the same level of house chores irrespective of their gender.
No wonder we have men that cant cook for themselves not to talk of the kids when the woman is not at home. Men that will always prove its the woman’s duty to do this or that simply because they’ve been brought up that way! (don’t miss-quote me, the woman has a duty as well as the man), same with the woman… there are certain things you should be able to do in your husband’s absence! (I’m not talking about things that require lots of energy or muscle.. but simple things that society has taught us that they should only be done by men in the home!). It will surprise you to know that some women don’t even know where the battery is located in a car!
My Suggestion: Rotate them on each of the house chores, with that, they will be vast in all aspects of the home management. They will also stop the “it’s not my duty” game, because they know that “what goes around, comes around”
By the grace of God, I was brought up by my parents in all aspects of house chores, from the kitchen to the farm!
SO, PARENTS, PLEASE TRAIN THE BOYS AND THE GIRLS EQUALLY!
Your Friend, Paul Ojomu
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by dailyd | Oct 7, 2018 | More, Relationship
Topic: The Sanctity of Marriage
Text: Genesis 24:2-67 (KJV)
Key Verse “And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death…” (Genesis 24:67).
MESSAGE:
The arrival of Rebekah as a wife to Isaac was a wonderful gift from God after three years of loneliness due to the death of his mother, Sarah.
Abraham’s chief servant, Eliezar had gone on a long journey to Mesopotamia to seek a wife for his master’s son, Isaac. Abraham had instructed him under oath to go to his family house to get a wife for his son. Eliezer obeyed and went. Helped by God after a brief prayer, he was able to come back with Rebekah as Isaac’s bride. Isaac was returning from the field where he had gone for meditation when he sighted the coming camels and hoped his wife would be in that approaching company. He was right. On enquiry, Rebekah had been told it was Isaac she had just sighted and had to cover herself with a veil as was the custom for new brides.
God instituted marriage as a holy union between a man and a woman. One man, one woman. The purposes are for procreation, partnership, fellowship and pleasure. For the godly Church, the marriage institution is a type of the union between Christ and His Bride, the Church. It is a sacred union. Similarly Christian marriage remains the bedrock of a healthy society.
Unfortunately, in some countries today, this sacred institution has been desecrated. They practice sinful acts like same-sex marriages. But God’s truth and warnings remain unchanging in the face of man’s waywardness. Knowing that life is not only about man’s brief stay on earth, it is only foolish for anyone to sell himself to the dictates of the devil to the detriment of his eternal well-being. “Wisdom crieth without; she uttereth her voice in the street” (Proverbs 1:20). We must hear the voice of wisdom and live a godly life as it pleases the Lord.
Thought For The Day: Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled.
Bible Reading In One Year: Matthew 8-9; Mark 2
DCLM Daily Manna was written by Pastor William Folorunso Kumuyi; is the founder and General Superintendent of the Deeper Life Bible Church situated at KM 42 on the busy Lagos-Ibadan Expressway, Nigeria.
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